Sometimes I need a little mental sorbet. Something to just clear out my mental palate and what better than the comedy of people watching without leaving my cube. Enter overheardinminneapolis.com. A site for people to post the oddities they overhear on any given day anywhere they might hear it. Think of it as voyeurism for you ears.
And sometimes they just come to me... This is a transcript between my friend Kate and I at work. Some of our better work indeed. While longer than your typical overheard snippit, the whole chat lasted maybe three minutes.
Kristen Weingart... grammar check...
Kate Brown/MN... ah yes - my favorite subject
Kristen Weingart... was I lying in bed last night
Kristen Weingart... or was I laying in bed last night.
Kristen Weingart... (and i was neither fibbing or getting my grove on.. simply prone.)
Kate Brown/MN... wait...I know this one - there's a trick to it
Kate Brown/MN... LMAO
Kate Brown/MN... I think people lay and objects lie, but I'm not sure
Kate Brown/MN... checking though
Kate Brown/MN... except that my computer has ground to a halt...ah, here we go
Kate Brown/MN... it appears, though I have to check one more thing, that you lie in bed
Kate Brown/MN... you lay when your action has a recipient, or object, as the grammatical term would be
Kate Brown/MN... lie down
Kate Brown/MN... lay something on the counter
Kristen Weingart... excellent.
Kristen Weingart... so i was lying in bed?
Kate Brown/MN... which makes sense when you think of it in the carnal sense...it always has an object (usually the speaker)
Kate Brown/MN... yes, it is now confirmed
Kate Brown/MN... you were lying in bed
Kate Brown/MN... if you were laying in bed, we would need to know who the object was to satisfy the grammatical requirement
Kristen Weingart... wow... there are so may double entendre options it is staggering.
Kate Brown/MN... I know - it's hard to choose just one
Kristen Weingart... well i can let this one lay...
Kristen Weingart... as for lying in bed... I never fake it.
Kristen Weingart... LOL
Kate Brown/MN... no...you'd have to let it lie
Kate Brown/MN... LOL
Kristen Weingart... wait.. isn't the object satisfied by 'double entendre'
Kate Brown/MN... it is...but for the verb "to let," not the verb "to lie"
Kristen Weingart... thanks.
Kate Brown/MN... no problem
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Ten Days
I don’t often legitimize my personal top tens by actually formalizing lists but when a friend of mine recently called me on the carpet for gushing cavalierly "this day is one of my favorite days of the year" it inspired a more thoughtful review to see if I could come up with ten.
Here is where I landed:
1. Thanksgiving Day
2. The Day After Thanksgiving (Christmas tree goes up during 007 Marathon on SpikeTV)
3. Christmas Eve
4. The first Sunday in July (it is usually the first day on the lake fishing)
5. The NFL season opener
6. The Cole Fantasy League draft party
7. Every day I get to spend with Sophie
8. The day I hit the Renaissance Fair with my peeps
9. The first significant snow when I don’t have to work
10. Any day I debut a new pair of shoes
Here is where I landed:
1. Thanksgiving Day
2. The Day After Thanksgiving (Christmas tree goes up during 007 Marathon on SpikeTV)
3. Christmas Eve
4. The first Sunday in July (it is usually the first day on the lake fishing)
5. The NFL season opener
6. The Cole Fantasy League draft party
7. Every day I get to spend with Sophie
8. The day I hit the Renaissance Fair with my peeps
9. The first significant snow when I don’t have to work
10. Any day I debut a new pair of shoes
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Putting the 'W' in WTF
Dear Lord in heaven is this my October surprise? http://www.wthefilm.com/
I might have to buy a ticket just to see:
I might have to buy a ticket just to see:
- Richard Dreyfuss as Dick Cheney
- Thandie Newton as Condolezza Rice
- Rob Corddry as Ari Fleischer
Playing W for Brolin had to have been more mentally tormenting than playing the Joker for Ledger. If Brolin gets even half as close as John Stewart's version of Bushy's snarky laugh... Give him the Oscar.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Shine Your Badge
This is the phrase Sarah, my sister-in-law, uses with me if I am shirking a compliment or behaving overly humble. I had a minor domestic disaster this weekend which upon the after action review I feel compelled to pull out the polish and a soft cloth.
At about 3:00AM Saturday morning I awoke to a noise. Realizing I had fallen asleep watching the news I turned off the TV and snuggled down to resume my regularly scheduled slumber. With the TV quieted I heard from downstairs a very loud and persistent whooshing noise—the whooshing noise that even half asleep I could tell was rushing water.
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter… When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a large pool of water on my living room floor.
Alas, my water softener (circa 1985) had given up the main seal at the top of the tank. I hit the pool of water and began a sprint to the kitchen only then to execute the perfect cartoon fall in the living room. You know the one where your legs somehow slip forward out from underneath you and you hang horizontally in mid-air for a moment before you hit the floor flat on some combination of your back and butt. I pulled myself up, now sopping wet, and quickly (yet carefully) padded into the laundry room behind the kitchen to access the water main. With each crank of the valve the gushing diminished.
The floor was my number one priority… pooling water is the archenemy of laminate wood floor. Thankfully there was a pile of dirty towels in the laundry room. I sopped and wiped and repeated before I positioned a fan to finish the work I couldn’t. I decided that the collateral damage of paint cans and Christmas decorations would be better handled I the light of day. Off to bed—after all it was only 3:45.
At about 3:00AM Saturday morning I awoke to a noise. Realizing I had fallen asleep watching the news I turned off the TV and snuggled down to resume my regularly scheduled slumber. With the TV quieted I heard from downstairs a very loud and persistent whooshing noise—the whooshing noise that even half asleep I could tell was rushing water.
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter… When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a large pool of water on my living room floor.
Alas, my water softener (circa 1985) had given up the main seal at the top of the tank. I hit the pool of water and began a sprint to the kitchen only then to execute the perfect cartoon fall in the living room. You know the one where your legs somehow slip forward out from underneath you and you hang horizontally in mid-air for a moment before you hit the floor flat on some combination of your back and butt. I pulled myself up, now sopping wet, and quickly (yet carefully) padded into the laundry room behind the kitchen to access the water main. With each crank of the valve the gushing diminished.
The floor was my number one priority… pooling water is the archenemy of laminate wood floor. Thankfully there was a pile of dirty towels in the laundry room. I sopped and wiped and repeated before I positioned a fan to finish the work I couldn’t. I decided that the collateral damage of paint cans and Christmas decorations would be better handled I the light of day. Off to bed—after all it was only 3:45.
I spent the better part of Saturday cleaning up the mess and drying things out and during that time I realized how well I had handled this little snafu.
- I did not cry, not once. Not only that but I remained calm.
- I knew where all the shut-offs were and on Saturday when it came time to turn the water to the house back on and by-pass the water softener I knew how to, and had the tools to loosen up frozen valves.
- I have enough savings on hand to buy a new softener without feeling even a pinch.
Yeah, I kinda rock.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Pure Bliss
A second cup of coffee steaming in my hand, the FOX pregame show* buzzing through the tv, a cool breeze billowing the drapes complemented by a crisp Sunday paper warming my lap—if this isn’t heaven I don’t know what is.
We have now entered the sweet sixteen. The best 16 weeks the year has to offer. And Entourage starts tonight again to boot.
*Now featuring a weekly dose of Michael Strahan. Yum.
We have now entered the sweet sixteen. The best 16 weeks the year has to offer. And Entourage starts tonight again to boot.
*Now featuring a weekly dose of Michael Strahan. Yum.
Stink-eye
I don’t abide rudeness and stink-eye is my version of the ‘Withering Glace’ these two writers so aptly title their column in the Tribune. Needless to say, I was delighted to read today that I am not alone.
In summary; take a shower, put your cell phone away and shut your cakehole.
In summary; take a shower, put your cell phone away and shut your cakehole.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Can you feel it?
Oh the difference a day makes.
They barely drained the grease from the fryers at the Fair before a morning downpour washed away the residue of summer. Good riddance.
The coolness in the air can only mean that the best 16 weeks of the year are just around the corner. Bring on the Fall with all of it’s sights, smells and sounds--and sleeping with the windows open.
They barely drained the grease from the fryers at the Fair before a morning downpour washed away the residue of summer. Good riddance.
The coolness in the air can only mean that the best 16 weeks of the year are just around the corner. Bring on the Fall with all of it’s sights, smells and sounds--and sleeping with the windows open.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)