Attention Ad Men & Marketing Mavens

If you have any stake at all in the results of your company/firm's marketing or advertising read on... If you want your ad to get legs you've simply got to get it online.

And a quality version too and named, tagged and SEOed for words that your target market is going to use in his/her search!

Here is a great example of an ad that made me laugh out loud and hunt for it. I spent a good 3-4 mins. Started with youtube and when that didn't work I hit the googler ultimately finding the link on a discussion board where people were talking about how funny it was and the link took me back to youtube.

Since then I found two versions of it (both on youtube...hmmm).

• The low quality video easily found on a discussion board (Again, fine people at Subway, people are talking about your ads.)
• The high quality version with a title that would have never occurred to me to use to search.

And Super Bowl Ad mavericks, I'll be keeping score to whose hunt-worthy ads I can find the fastest online.

Stay tuned. Pun intended.

That's a lotta douche

As context know that douche and all variants is one of my favorite non-curse pejoratives. Amy, my officemate and friend, was throwing some smack talk my way and so I returned the volley with a harsh "quit being such a douche." Needless to say she took issue.

But not only did she take issue, she was curious and threw douche into the Googler. She came upon a medical supply website that comes complete with instructions. We roared with laughter reading the instructions below and by the final douche I think all was forgiven.

1. Sterilize the Enema Set by keeping them in luke-warm water for 3 to 4 hours (overnight) and wash the douche can properly.
2. Fix the douche tube with douche bag by inserting bottom nozzle of douche bag in one end of douche tube.
3. Fix the stop cock* on the other end of douche tube.
4. Fill the douche bag with luke-warm water to be used for enema.
5. Fix the rectal/vagina** pipe with stop cock.
6. Place the douche bag at a height to ensure good flow of water.
7. Lubricate the Rectal/Vaginal pipe/nozzle with vaseline.***
8. Turn the knob to let the air out of the rubber tube.
9. Prepare yourself for enema. (Please ensure that you are in a good health and are able to carry enema activities.)
10. Insert the rectal/vaginal pipe into the anus/vagina and turn the knob of stop cork so that it allows flow of water through it.
11. Take out the rectal/vaginal pipe when enema is over. Wash again all the enema equipment with warm water.

*Stop cock... as if this could get any funnier.
**Notice that these instructions are for a multi-purpose douche, irrespective of your personal plumbing.
***Hmmm petroleum jelly is the generic term... use of Vaseline should be capitalized. tsk tsk tsk.

Good times Amy, good times.

The New Drunk Dial

The new drunk dial is drunk blogging.

You know what a good fundraising model is? All the wine you can drink with limited/strained hors d'oeuvres service.

Well done. I gave from the heart via the glass.

Hey CBS, tick tock tick tock

I don't know how FOX does it but nearly every week during the football season they seem to wrap up on time while CBS chronically runs long.

You've got a little over 200 days to get your act together until the 2009 season kicks off (pun intended)... I'm certain you can get some tips from the FOX sports team.

I was duped.

Yesterday, I showed up at a birthday party for Julie's (one of my BFF) youngest kidlet, Maggie. Julie and I had plans to hit the town after. I think I was probably her exit strategy to discourage hangers on. Julie is thoughtfully prudent with her invitations to events like this lest folks like me feel obligated to attend. I was kind of excited to get the invite. I like Maggie a lot and haven't seen a number of Julie's family members for a awhile and was looking forward to catching up.

However, that was not the party I stepped into. She said the party would run from 2:00-4:00 and I could come by anytime after 2:00. I was out and about running errands and arrived at about 2:20 and while I should have been tipped off by the mention of a Hannah Montana theme and the lack of cars in the driveway and street I entered boldly to find a herd of 4-year-old girls and none of the adults I was expecting.

That was a lot of little girls and I earned my cupcake and the two Guinness at dinner later. Yikes. Jule, you've now got your first entry. Next time I'll ask for the full guest list.

London Calling

Here is the summary of a recent discussion with my friend, Michele, as we--in a brunch induced haze--hatched the plan to head to the UK...

(Context: Michele is my Las Vegas subject matter expert and we've been talking about an trip to Vegas together for years)

KW: Ok, let's talk about this trip.
MD: Yeah, about that. I have to say, I'm kind of over Vegas and need a break. But I do have this new passport that needs a stamp.
KW: That's cool. I think I can help with that. If I'm being honest though, I gotta say, I'm kinda over the whole Mexico/Caribbean thing.
MD: Well, I've been doing some research and I think we can get to London and back for under a grand.
KW: Get out!
MD: Yep.
KW: OMG... let's do it. We're going to London.

In all honesty, this transcript wouldn't hold up in a court of law but it is directionally correct. Two items to note gentle reader are that I am going to London (am super pumped) and I think the fine people at Jensen's spike their syrup with just a little bit of crack-cocaine.