The Perennial Examiner

The Vote

2010-11-02T21:26:00.003-05:00

(Day 2 of 30 Days of Thankful)

Not only am I thankful for the right to vote and engage in our democracy, I'm also thankful for the collective national sigh marking the end of the campaign season.

My vote might not always "count" but exercising my voice in selection is table stakes to exercising my voice in critiquing.

I must now go and watch them tally the votes and project the results.

30 Days of Thankful Redux

2010-11-01T19:19:00.003-05:00

Welcome to November readers!!! Only 24 more sleeps until Thanksgiving and to celebrate I am reviving my 30 days of Thankful. Not only do I want to build upon what I started in 2009 (I have more than 30 things for which I am ebulliently thankful) I feel compelled to finish what I started.

After my friend Larry died a blinking cursor was more than I could manage. So daunting in fact I could not even bring myself to complete and distribute the annual Christmas newsletter that gave birth to this very blog. He nurtured my love of writing so what better symmetry than to kick off the month sharing how thankful I am for... Words.

Courtesy of my niece Sophie, I think Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street sings it best, "Words, words and more words, how I adore words."

Grammar, tense and punctuation futilely render inconsequential sans words to knit together. Cornucopia, ramification, smorgasbord, organza, medieval, precipitate, palpable and even fuck--with all its creative and spicy derivatives--are some of my favorite words. Either the sound they make rolling off the tongue or the image they conjure.

Think about it, when you read the word organza what immediately comes to mind? Not a brick? And the word precipitate, you know something is going to be falling from somewhere--snow from the sky, solid out of a liquid suspension or innovative ideas in response to a barrier.

To punctuate my point in closing recently a friend of mine and I spent nearly 20 minutes over dinner one night discussing the difference between a gulch, crevasse, chasm, canyon, ditch, and valley; just two word nerds talking over dinner.

This Week in Pumpkin: Pumpkin Caramel Tart

2010-10-18T20:46:00.003-05:00

Okay... this recipe was the inspiration (courtesy of JoePastry.com) for a variation I ran through my test kitchen last week as a part of my market testing for my someday bakery. While I have changed up the recipe and flavor profile quite a bit I wanted to share it with my readers in the spirit of the season and all things pumpkin.

Note: Don't let the sugar go too far, once that dark spot gets larger than a plum you're at risk of burning the sugar and if so, that stinks--literally. I burned the first batch and had to pour it into an old pizza box in the front yard just to evacuate the kitchen. The next morning I had a tar black candy slick seemingly untouched by nearby woodland creatures.

Also, this recipe makes enough custard for two 10-inch tart shells.

Ingredients
Caramel
1 cup sugar
¼ cup water

Custard
2 cups cream
2 tablespoons dark rum (optional)
1 15-ounce can pumpkin puree
½ cup sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
½ teaspoon ground allspice
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 eggs

Moisten the first cup of sugar with the 1/4 cup water in a sauce pan and swirl over high heat until it turns light amber, then dark amber. For a more pronounced caramel flavor, wait for a brown-black spot to appear in the center of the pan before you remove it from the heat and start adding your cream slowly in a steady stream, whisking all the while (watch out, it'll foam and sputter a bit).

Once all the cream is in, whisk in the rum, pumpkin, sugar, spices and vanilla. Keep the filling warm on a very low flame until the crust is nearly ready. It should NOT be bubbling/boiling.

Pour the warm filling into your favorite shortbread tart crust hot out of the oven to create a water-proof seal.

Put the pan into the oven and drop the heat to 350. Bake for 15 minutes, then turn the pan, jiggling it to see how "sloshy" it still is in the middle.

Bake another 5-10 minutes or so, just until the center no longer "sloshes", but jiggles firmly. Cool for a minimum of one hour before slicing and serving. I prefer mine chilled.

This Week in Pumpkin: Spiced Pumpkin Pancakes

2010-10-04T19:07:00.003-05:00

Okay friends, it is that time of year again... my kitchen runneth over with pumpkin--shortage be damned! This week is a favorite I have made for years and my sister-in-law has been patiently waiting for its turn on the menu.

This was that weekend. We had these pancakes with turkey sausages, coffee and orange juice as a primer to our trip to the orchard. Sophie loved them, she ate three!

This recipe may look a little intimidating compared to standard pancakes but do not be thwarted by the whipping and folding egg whites... you're the boss and final pancake is worth it. Also, let the batter sit for 20-30 minutes before hitting the griddle.

Ingredients
1 1/4 cups unbleached all purpose flour
3 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/3 cups milk
3/4 cup canned pumpkin puree
4 large eggs, separated
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Vegetable oil
Maple syrup

Preparation
Whisk first 5 ingredients in large bowl to blend. Whisk milk, pumpkin, egg yolks, melted butter and vanilla in medium bowl to blend well. Add pumpkin mixture to dry ingredients; whisk just until smooth (batter will be thick). Using electric mixer, beat egg whites in another medium bowl until stiff but not dry. Fold whites into batter in 2 additions.

Brush large nonstick skillet with oil; heat over medium heat. Working in batches, pour batter by 1/3 cupfuls into skillet. Cook until bubbles form on surface of pancakes and bottoms are brown, about 1 1/2 minutes per side. Repeat with remaining batter, brushing skillet with oil between batches. Serve with butter, maple syrup, honey or pumpkin butter. Makes 20-24 pancakes.

Bon Appétit November 2000 by way of epicurious.com

Movie Review: The Blind Side

2010-10-02T21:33:00.002-05:00

I love a good football movie and The Blind Side delivered. You know how it got the name 'The Blind Side'... It is because you'll be blinded by tears multiple times.

RIP Crabapple Tree

2010-08-06T21:02:00.005-05:00

You were lovely for the four days of the year you bloomed.
Today, my buddy Gary cut you down and now the sunlight streams in.

I have a blank canvas in which to build the outdoor room of my dreams--oohh the possibilities.

Google knows.

2010-06-02T20:34:00.003-05:00

I think it knows too much actually.

Here I sit, laptop in the couch nook listening to So You Think You Can Dance on the TV. I hear the TV cut to commercial and the voice of Michael Strahan and I perk up--part NFL pre-season hopes part crush. He's doing a commercial for Dr. Pepper and how he loves the delicious mix of the 23 flavors.

I think, "hmmm... 23?" So I tickety tickety tap tap tap it into the googler. I get as far as 2-3-_-f-l- and Google fills in the rest and with one click, here's the list.

The 23 flavors/ingredients of the famous Dr. Pepper soda secret...

Amaretto
Almond
Blackberry
Black Licorice
Carrot
Clove
Cherry
Caramel
Cola
Ginger
Juniper
Lemon
Molasses
Nutmeg
Orange
Prune
Plum
Pepper
Root Beer
Rum
Raspberry
Tomato
Vanilla

Did Google know what I was watching? I'll have to plug that into the googler next.

Pizza Paradise

2010-05-18T18:32:00.003-05:00

Warmer days and crops in the ground mean there are many summer pleasures on the horizon. Today's musings were brought about by my buddy Kirk putting a stake in the ground and scheduling our summer pilgrimage to The Pizza Farm.

The Pizza Farm (formally known as A to Z Produce Farm) is the front yard of a working farm in Stockholm WI, about an hour southeast of Minneapolis and one of the coolest secret/insider things I know about. During the summer months on Tuesday nights only from 4:30PM to 8:00 this family turns their farm into a wood fire pizza kitchen.

Each of the ingredients is either grown on the premises or from neighboring farms (happy pig sausage) and the outcome and the ambiance can best be described as casual summer awesomeness. I am certain this pizza ranks as some of the best pizza I will ever have. Top five for easily--and that includes empty placeholders for Italy.

Now, all you get is pizza in a box so the rest of the experience is up to your own design. Some families have tables with place settings and even a little centerpiece, others come with simply a six pack and picnic blanket. Good times with great friends and phenomenal pizza.

Stay tuned for pictures and the 2010 rundown after we make the trek in late July.

Dear Ticketmaster

2010-04-24T11:50:00.001-05:00

I would have more respect for you if instead of an $8.75/ticket "convenience" fee you just called it profit, overhead, jets, genital waxing.... whatever it is you do with the money.

Because frankly I cannont fathom just who exactly you're conveniencing with this crap.

Bravo Post-its

2010-04-12T20:13:00.004-05:00

I live in a townhome and in August 2009 the association did some painting and made some repairs to the siding. This meant we needed to remove our house numbers for a few days. To ensure my pizza and UPS deliveries still arrived on my doorstep I wrote my house numbers on Post-it note and stuck it on the vinyl siding. The work was completed by the end of September but I was not ready to reattach house numbers that I never really cared for. I took this opportunity to find some that I really liked.

After shopping around, on foot and on-line I found some house numbers I really liked but then the busy holidays were bearing down on me, and then the Christmas super-storm, and then that long and brutal cold snap. I was in the thick of winter and there was not enough daylight much less warmth to undertake this exterior project. Heck, there were days it was so cold I’m pretty sure the juice in my level would have froze. Never fear, my address Post-it held strong.

The snow stopped in February and March brought a slow steady thaw and longer days with warm sunshine. Just before Easter, when I resolved to take down my Christmas lights, I installed my new address numbers.

That little square of paper with the removable sticky held up through a Minnesota fall AND winter facing rain, sleet, snow and wind. However, a note to my friends at Sharpie… I did have to rewrite my house numbers three times.

Bubble Pizza

2010-03-22T21:40:00.002-05:00

I owe this recipe to my dear friend Deena who I used to share a standing Wednesday night dinner with in the good ol' days of 90210.

There are many different variations to this comfort food gem. I'll start with the original and then highlight variations at the bottom.

Barbecue Chicken Bubble Pizza
3 tubes regular size refrigerated biscuits.
1 18.5 oz bottle of barbecue sauce (I like Ken Davis)
4 chicken breasts, roasted on the bone
1/2 red onion sliced thin
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Tear each biscuit into thirds and roll into a ball. Mix in a bowl with barbecue sauce. Pour into 9x13 cake pan sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Remove cooked chicken from bone and dice. Spread over biscuit/barbecue sauce mixture. Sprinkle onions and cheese over top. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 35 minutes. Remove foil and bake another 10 minutes.

Delicious variations:

Taco pizza style: substitute 1 1/2 pounds cooked ground beef for chicken and Ortega taco sauce for barbecue sauce. Use cheddar instead of mozzarella. Service with fresh tomato, black olives, salsa and sour cream.

Bacon Spaghetti style: substitute 1 1/2 pounds cooked ground beef for chicken and add half about diced cooked bacon, Hunts traditional spaghetti sauce for the barbecue sauce. Use white onion instead of red. Stick with mozzarella.

Meatball Sub style: substitute 1 1/2 pounds cooked meatballs for chicken. Use marinara sauce instead of barbecue. Use provolone instead of mozzarella.

Because of the blue Sharpie

2010-02-10T22:00:00.006-06:00

Because I haven’t blogged in almost three months.
Because one of my favorite office curmudgeons asked about my blog today.
Because I was on a spectacular roll in November with ‘30 Days of Thankful.’
Because I am a congested mouth-breather no longer.
Because I had a moment today that warrants tapping out a few lines...
Because I have sensitive skin and a weakness for high-end beauty products.
Because I am on the downhill side of my 30’s.
Because the cold dry winter has driven me to a richer, evening facial moisturizer to replenish.
Because I am brand loyal, I bought something from the maker of my day-time moisturizer.
Because both products are from the same maker the packaging is identical.
Because when I wash my face in the evening I do so on auto-pilot.
Because I cannot be bothered to read all the little words to know I am selecting the P.M. product.
Because I am a nerd who knows what poka yoke means and how to error-proof a process.
Because the blue sharpie was in tucked into a note pad on my nightstand.

I colored the end of the tube dark blue—as in nighttime.
Yeah, this is my life and I'm back at the keyboard.

Anti-Kristen

2009-11-21T20:19:00.003-06:00

She is the yin to my yang... A thin, blonde, heart on the sleeve true girls girly girl to my fluffy brunette repressed nerdom.

She waited in line with me for five hours today to get a book signed. Her patience was my reward--both in the autograph and five hours of nylon-roped-waiting-line quality time.

I am thankful for my anti-Kristen, my friend Kristin... endless recipes and home improvement ideas and laughter abound when we're together. She has been breaking me down for years, she'll soften me up yet and I'm the better for it.

Swimming Pools

2009-11-20T22:08:00.000-06:00

I think in another life I lived in the water… perhaps I was a dolphin or a mermaid or a synchronized swimmer. I love the water, all water really but if I had to prioritize it swimming pools would be at the top of the list.

Lakes are great but weeds, mysterious mucky bottoms and an unpleasant allergy to some lakes with an unknown lake flotsam (damn you Wabedo) taint the experience. Speaking of taint, the iron tinted rusty rocky depths Superior and the Upper Seine taunt me every summer but their size and latitude make for a frigid dip.

Oceans and seas are fantastic. The salty buoyancy and rolling surf open a world of gravity-defying play. However, I watch enough Discovery Channel to be keenly aware of the converse relationship between the depth at which I frolic and my position on the food chain. In short, the deeper I play, the lower the link on the food chain I sit.

Despite being void of nature’s inspiration, I am thankful for swimming pools. They simply alleviate all the above risk. Pools offer visibly clear water, chemically treated and temperature controlled, free of toothed or poisonous predators and unpredicable unforgivable riptides; pools afford easily accessible safe seasonless submersion on-demand.

My Mentor and Friend, Larry

2009-11-19T23:04:00.000-06:00

Today I received shocking news. Today I lost my mentor and beloved friend. He died suddenly, barely 53, and I find myself in shock and without words. So, through my 1% tears I tap out an anemic tribute to a tremendous man.

It was because of Larry’s coaching and tutelage that I have my career but more importantly it was because of his support and encouragement that I have my writing—the newsletter that started it all, the blog before you and the someday book.

I think he knew how much he meant to me and how thankful I was to have him and his family as a part of my life.

And how much I’ve learned from him.

And grown because of him.

And how much I will truly miss him.

Simple Math

2009-11-18T18:43:00.000-06:00

Where I work there are a lot of agendas, egos and politics. Your garden variety corporate BS. My job is bulldozing past it and executing programs that will either reduce operating expense, deliver top-line growth or deliver on our mission/promise to our customers… That is my agenda. I leave my ego at home and I abhor politics. I’ve learned over time that even the most articulate, logical and well researched position can rarely combat the BS without some shocking or provocative numbers.

Enter simple math. I love simple math, often referred to corporately as “data” or “insights.” (quotes for sarcastic inflection) While on the spot calculations are not my strong suit (that is what God made Excel for) I know how to tell a story. Simple stuff really, my favorite is probably tact rate. If you want to get to ‘x’ by ‘y date’ and you churn out ‘z daily’… you need to increase your rate by 441%. Watch the jaws drop and the troops assemble. Priceless.

I am thankful for simple math and its place in storytelling to influence alignment and decision making. It also plays the perennial bad-cop, after all… I’m not a b*tch, just the messenger. It’s not just useful at the office; simple math is also the secret ingredient to pulling off a juicy turkey and flawless thanksgiving dinner.

Smell

2009-11-17T20:18:00.001-06:00

First, understand that I am supremely thankful for all five of my senses. That said, my sense of smell evokes some of the strongest responses—involuntary and voluntary alike.

Just a whiff is all it takes to evoke a memory, and not just a memory but a crystal clear virtual reality-esque involuntary recollection of the moment. Sometimes it is a person, a vacation, a meal, an event and the rest of my body responds in kind. A relaxing event and I can feel my heart rate slow, a meal and I can feel my mouth start to water… An amorous event and I can feel myself blush. It’s really quite amazing to see how it is all connected.

These days the voluntary response manifests mostly in my consumerism. It stands to reason that a girl so thankful for a sense which evokes such a strong response would be… well… persnickety with when voting with her dollars to purchase scented items. Frankly, second to quality, it is a key measure of my brand loyalty. I could go on and on and have been meaning to write that entry for some time, we’ll save it for another time. Back to thankfulness…

I am thankful for my keen sense of smell and the joy I get from processing the memories and emotions linked to it. I am also thankful for some of companies to which I am brand-loyal that once they get a product to the shelves that sells that they simply leave well enough alone and just let us enjoy.

Flannel Sheets

2009-11-16T22:32:00.000-06:00

Shorter days and a chill in the air mean “the big change” approaches on Horten Point… The hospital-cornered change to flannel sheets. The soft brushed knap holds the heat and creates a cozy cocoon (a woven to those in the know) that facilitates the long winters nap while the novelty prints nurture my inner child.

Be it a creamy golden khaki studded with snowmen, reindeer and candy canes or something less “festive” like a chocolate brown swirled with creamy white and icy blue snowflakes something about curling into bed bundled in flannel whimsy brings me back to a time when my age was in the single digits. Even though I never had flannel sheets as a kid.

If you’ve read about my love for changing seasons, this detail should come as no surprise. I’m thankful for the warmth and comfort of flannel sheets and how they make me feel inside and out.

My Home

2009-11-15T09:11:00.004-06:00

Be it ever so humble there is really no place like home.

After a long day at the office turning toward the home strech I know I'm home when I see the boulder at the end of the street. Then when I open the door and smell the warm air inside... it smells of clean laundry, and whatever candle that I currently love that the bastards at Yankee Candle haven't discontiued yet... sorry, I digress... These days, it is vanilla and mint.

Or reading the paper on a quiet Sunday morning, fire glowing in the fireplace.
Or cooking in the kitchen, preparing for family or friends to visit.
Or setting up the Christmas decorations.
Or completing the deep spring or fall clean.
Or daydreaming of the courtyard redo.

I am so thankful for the quiet, calming cozy townhouse I call home.

Coffee

2009-11-14T10:37:00.005-06:00

It is more than just a caffeine delivery mechanism. I love coffee so much, I drink decaf a lot of the time. Coffee is morning in a cup. A complex, multifacted symphony of flavors to awaken all five of the senses.

Sound--crushing beans with a crunching whining growl, the grinder signals the process is underway.

Smell--wafting through through the rooms, the filtering drip teases me with the prospect of advance cup.

Sight--mixing the perfect creamy shade of brown, the cream primes the cup with a small sploosh.

Touch--feeling the warmth of the mug in hand, the heat is so comforting I hold it with two hands.

Taste--savoring the nuance of each flavor, the first sip is a welcome companion in greeting the morning or finishing off a dessert.

Today, my favorite seasonal roast, Caribou Coffee's Reindeer Blend, emerged from its ten month nap. I'm thankful for coffee; not just the flavor, the ritual or even sometimes the pick-me-up of the caffeine but the social society that exists among coffee drinkers and special ring in the phrase "meeting for coffee."

Music

2009-11-13T23:25:00.003-06:00

I've hinted at it a couple of times and so this constitutes my official post proclaiming how thankful I am for music.

Let it should be known that I am not musically inclined at all. It is a foreign language that I cannot seem to decipher. I have a good enough ear to do the holiday carols justice in the comfort of a group but other than that, I'm purely a private solo act. This alone amplifies my appreciation.

I love most kinds of music, and what I don't love I don't 'get' which is okay... It is an art for and therefore subject to taste and subjectivity.

The power of music is an amazing thing. Its ability to set or shift a mood, trigger a memory, or inspire any range of movements from a simple to tap to a full out boogie.

Music Accessories

2009-11-12T21:40:00.000-06:00

I love music and my Susan Boyle post, while accurate, was a bit of a fatigued 'phone in.' I'll expound on music later... but today it's all about the accessories. If I had two children... I'm certain I would not be able to articulate which one I love more. I know this because I have both an iPod Touch and Sirius Satellite Radio and there are days where I am truly torn between them.

Do I play the musical version of Russian roulette and shuffle the iPod collection or play one of my custom tailored playlists to create or punctuate the exact mood I'm shooting for? Or do I turn it over to the science provided to me by my good friends at Apple and roll with a series of Genius picks... Play lists computer generated based on one song selection reconciled to the remaining songs available on the device. Oh, decisions decisions.

Or... if I'm rolling down the road do I hit the gloriously commerical-free satellite airwaves and broadened my horizons with some new music or a specific decade or genre (jazz, heavy metal, acoustic)? Perhaps the collection of just one artist (Sinatra, Elvis, Springsteen). Politics, news, humor or Martha Stewarts timely turkey tips--over 100 stations to choose from.

Living in the information age and a fan of technology I am thankful for the gadgetry and personalization that allows me to have what ever music I want near me anytime I have a free ear.

Sushi and its Supply Chain

2009-11-11T21:48:00.000-06:00

Day 11 of 30 Days of Thankful

I love fine food and a good a meal. Sushi is a special favorite of mine, probably because I don't have it very frequently... Not many of my friends share my love of sushi.

Tonight, I came across some of the best sushi I've ever had at Seven. The flavor and texture were perfect and so fresh I swear I could still smell and taste the ocean. I began to think about the journey of this fish from sea to plate and all of the people who made it happen. I'm sure yellow slicker clad Gorton's Fisherman has plenty of automation to churn out fish-bits as sticks; a level of automation that sushi grade just would not tolerate.

The fact that I can safely consume raw fish whenever my heart desires in spite of the fact that I live landlocked in the middle of the country is a little luxury that I am thankful for. Giving thanks from gill to tail, the supply chain that ferries the fish to my community and the fine restaurateurs who slice, wrap and roll a delicious, artful tradition from the far east to the plates of the midwest.

Susan Boyle

2009-11-10T20:47:00.003-06:00

Day 10 of 30 Days of Thankful

That unassuming little Scotswoman give me chills every time I hear her sing. I'm thankful for the gift that she's been given and that she finally found a forum to share it.

Drinking Water

2009-11-09T21:24:00.002-06:00

Fresh delicious drinking water flowing freely from our taps is something we likely take for granted in an industrialized nation until it pours out of our spigots smelling like chlorinated swamp.

My parents are currently enduring this very same public works debacle and I feel for them. Similarly, a year or so ago, the water in my corporate high-rise of employment began to taste the like the murky sludge at the bottom of the Mississippi... not good at all. Fortunately a teammates' husband is a water distributor and now for about $2.50 a month per person our team shares in the glub-glug of a good old fashioned water cooler.

I've become a bit of a connoisseur of water over the years and also a vigilant hydrator. That combination makes me immensely thankful for the readily available access I have to bright, refreshing drinking water (Eagan tap plus a Brita) and how good it makes me feel when I am fully hydrated.

The Men and Women of our Armed Forces

2009-11-08T11:49:00.005-06:00

Day 8 of 30 Days of Thankful

I don't care much for war and our current war is mired in politics that will quickly steer my editorial far afield from my thankful focus. That said, regardless of the back story to any military action it is the men and women on the front lines that deliver on the orders, carry out the mission and accept the personal risk.

Today, in honor of Veteran's Day, the fine fellows on the Fox NFL Sunday Pre-Game show broadcast from Afghanistan and the faces of the front-lines were brought into my living room. These men and women in uniform peppered the commentators with questions about their favorite teams and players with a normalcy that astonished and humbled me.

Thankful as both a term and sentiment falls short for expressing my appreciation of the men and women who have committed their time and accepted the risk to their life and limb to protect not only American freedoms but the freedom and human rights of people around the globe. For the troops--active, veterans, and the missing and fallen--and their families, I am thankful.

Minnesota Seasons and Weather

2009-11-07T18:11:00.002-06:00

Day 7 of 30 Days of Thankful.

Today was one of those perfect fall days that if you could order up, you'd order a dozen. Through my ear to ear smile as I was puttering around in the garage I realized how thankful I am for our four distinct seasons that set the scene for Minnesota living.

Winter: The sharp white canvas of snow highlights all the color of the holidays while the long cold march toward March provides the perfect excuse for catching up on reading, movies, red wine, board games... or skiing/ snowboarding/ snowshoeing if that that's your thing.

Spring: Longer days give way to melting snow and as the air warms the damp smell of spring hits the air and people emerge from their hibernation. Signs of life return to the landscape in the form of crocuses, daffodils, and tulips. By the time the lilacs bloom you know summer is just around the corner.

Summer: As the temperature rises the smell of spring subsides and is replaced by the smells of summer; storms, grills and fresh cut grass. The dry skin of winter becomes supple again with liberal application of bug spray and sunscreen. Boats and bikes abound and outdoor seating is a premium worth the wait list. Invariably the summer heat and humidity get to a point where you pray for the relief that only a change in seasons can deliver--enter fall.

Fall: The heat breaks and the fall breezes swish away the summer haze and begin to rustle the leaves. Deep green canopies slowly change to jeweled tones of red, gold and orange. The days get shorter and cool fall evenings scented with bonfires and apple cider are lit by the glow of jack-o-lanterns and you squeeze out every last bit of each outdoor moment knowing the winter veil will soon descend.

I'm thankful for the distinct seasons and temperate weather that serves as the backdrop for the multitude of activities that make up Minnesota; I truly believe that the extremes are key to our appreciation of the those perfect blue-bird days.

...Not mention the weather is our universal conversation starter for those awkward, repressed elevator and waiting line pleasantries.

My Niece Sophie

2009-11-06T20:17:00.001-06:00

Day 6 of 30 days of Thankful

Today, I got to spend the day with my niece, Sophie. She is a little over two and a whole lotta fun. We had a rare sunny, warm November day, we even got to play outside running in the grass and blowing and chasing bubbles.

Her personality is starting to take shape and she is very observant and she loves to sing and dance and color and read books. I just can't get enough of her sweet little voice when she sings and talks and tells stories I am completely enthralled. Her face is my favorite subject for photography, it is very expressive and often the shutter snaps enough photos that a person could use her changing expressions as a flip book.

I am thankful for the time Sophie and I get to spend together and thankful to be a part of her life--I can't wait to see what comes next.

A Good Cry

2009-11-05T20:08:00.004-06:00

From a pure data standpoint tracking gross tear production as a measure I suppose it could be said that I cry a lot which, again speaking only technically, I suppose is true. Although, if you bucket the tears into thematic categories and graph the distribution you'll clearly see that I am not a huge cryer in the "she's a cryer" traditional sense of the term.

The vast majority of my tears are from laughter or empathy but occasionally I am angered, frustrated, minimized, hurt and/or all of the above to the point I just need the release and reset that a good cry can provide.

Today, I was thankful for the warm salty tears that streamed down my cheeks and washed the work week away while I navigated the commute home. Today, I was thankful for a good cry.

Julie, my BFF

2009-11-04T19:35:00.003-06:00

I was going to wait until her birthday or until the third Thursday of the month (our standing date) but I just don't think I can hold out until then.

Julie and I met in 1995 when we both worked in real estate. We hit it off and became fast friends and the adventures ensued. We've grown together, took a break and grew while we were apart and when we reconnected, we picked up where we left off.

Julie probably knows me better than anyone and I am so very thankful for every adventure we've had and inevitable bouts of laughter. If our friendship had a soundtrack there would be 10-15 soundbites and then a series of laugh tracks. I just plain love her.

Some of Julie is always with me and even when I'm alone and something strikes me as funny I mutter "standing." I hope everyone is blessed enough to have a Julie... not mine though, get your own.

My Hair Stylist Bonnie

2009-11-03T21:07:00.004-06:00

On average, I get a haircut every 8-10 weeks and similarly I average about one compliment per week about my hair... And what girl doesn't like compliments on her appearance. Not this girl, bring it.

My Bonnie story is one of those small world stories. I was getting a hair cut after Bush "won" the election in 2000. My stylist at the time as an adorable young fellow at a chic Aveda salon downtown, he was also a staunch republican. His politics did not typically effect his performance but he was so lathered up over the burgeoning legal battles in Florida to settle the election he took it out on my coif. I left the salon looking the unholy love child of Dorothy Hamill and Moe from the Three Stooges.

After a couple weeks of trying to make it work I booked the earliest appointment at a nearby salon. An appointment with Bonnie. I arrived at the salon to see a familiar face. Bonnie Wibbles whose locker was next to mine all through high-school

She's been doing my hair, and that of a few friends since then. She's also a friend a my partner in sushi adventures. I'm thankful for Bonnies steady hand and her eye for symmetry when it matters and when it doesn't.

Laughter

2009-11-02T21:54:00.003-06:00

Mine and those around me... and all innumerable different kinds of laughter,

It doesn't matter why or who or the topic. I love to laugh and I love being a part of others laughter.

I am so very thankful for my splendid sense of humor that allows me to laugh my way through or find some humor in most everything that comes my way. Additionally, I'm supremely thankful for my clever mind, quick wit and sense of comedic timing--a double dip of nature and nurture means there are usually a few chuckles in store for those I roll with as well.

Thirty Days of Thankful--Hut Hut Hike

2009-11-01T19:43:00.000-06:00

In honor of my favorite holiday and the true sentiment behind it (I'm not just a fiend for turkey) I'm endeavoring to blog every day during the month of November and each entry will feature what I'm top of mind thankful for.

Football
I have memories of my childhood watching the Sunday game with my Dad. The Purple Pride was in their hey-day and playing football outdoors.

Nowadays, I watch my football solo steeped in Sunday rest. I also watch fantasy football players perform or fail me--more failing me than performing this year... but at least the Vikes are on a streak. (Yay falls oh so very short)

I love this time of year and am thankful for the only major league sport I follow that punctuates it and thankful for the time it means with friends at draft parties ahead of the season and smack talk to start the last 16 weeks of the year.

Ritz Crackers and Glade

2009-10-26T19:36:00.004-05:00

Settle down, this is not a recap of my dinner.

It is however my introduction to the holiday advertising season. In the first 30 minutes of Dancing with the Stars tonight I have seen the first two ads for consumer packaged goods.

Ritz Cracker getting a leap on the things promoting the importance of having their crackers at your holiday fete. Followed by Glade in the next bundle featuring their limited edition holiday scents. Because we all know, if you're going to have people over for crackers and merriment the house better smell good.

Wow, this feels early. I know my lawn is covered in leaves and Thanksgiving is a mere 31 days away but jeez, the Great Pumpkin hasn't even been on yet.

What can you say about Brett Favre?

2009-10-05T20:52:00.006-05:00

You can say a lotta things about Brett Favre but you can't say that he doesn't laugh at himself. Just saw this Sears commercial during one of the most emotionally charged games of his career.

And if this one doesn't get your chuckler moving, check out the one with the outtakes.

Papa Johns Cinnapie

2009-09-29T22:02:00.003-05:00

So Papa Johns has a new dessert, the Cinnapie, that they are giving away free with a two topping pizza. Let me tell you how to eat this sweet treat...

Skip the dessert and eat it for breakfast the following morning. It goes great with a hot steamy cup of coffee, the Sunday paper and the NFL pre-game show.

Me = bad ass

2009-09-01T21:07:00.002-05:00

Okay, I got rid of the crazy girl at the bottom of the pink menace in favor of this colorful sketchy number that feels more like a beloved notepad or journal which really appeals to me.

I'm a bad ass because I actually had to tweak the html code to get the title and subheading to fit properly at the top of the page and I figgered it out all on my own within just a few minutes.

Yeah, I rock.

P.S. Who the heck is that???

2009-08-31T21:14:00.003-05:00

Okay, so now I just happened to scroll to the bottom of the page and there is a woman laying on a couch. She wasn't there when I downloaded it. What the ...!!!

Ugh, I'll hit the drawing board again in a day or so... Maybe I'll find something with pumpkins, after all tomorrow September begins.

Yay September!

Oh you silly internet

2009-08-31T21:09:00.003-05:00

I opened the computer tonight to do three things...

Check email. Check.
Update Facebook. Check.

What was the third thing... hmmm... 1.5 hours and a new blog template later I remembered that I was going to price shop some a new refrigerators.

Good lord there is a lot on the internets.

Noo noo noo noo, noo noo noo noo

2009-08-15T19:41:00.004-05:00

[to the tune of the Twilight Zone theme]

Was grappling with a conundrum at the Behr paint wall in Home Depot today. Was trying to find the right complementary blue for the office palette. The one in hand was too blue, too true blue... too baby nursery blue. I had a chip from Glidden that would work but I'm not a fan of how their paint goes on the wall. I know Behr could do a custom match but I still wasn't convinced I couldn't find an "off the shelf" hue.

Next to me is a man and his daughter. He is at the Behr compute matching kiosk thingy. He has one color card in hand and yells out to his daughter the number of the next card they needed for their project. He says "730E" to her. "What?!" she asks. "730E!" he directs more loudly (no agitation in the tone, simply louder). The girl breezes past me, speed reading the Behr equivalent to the Dewey Decimal system until she finds and snags the card her dad ordered up.

Meanwhile, I am sliding my Glidden sample over the Behr cards muttering what quite possibly sounded like the home improvement version of Goldilocks & The Three Bears. This one's too blue. This one's too teal. As I gravitate to the last section of blues... This one's just right! The perfect steely yet earthy spa blue I've been looking for. Card number 730E.

Creepy coincidence or divine hand in color match? You decide.

Officer, I swear it was an accident.

2009-07-29T19:47:00.003-05:00

I have had a pretty bad cold for the past few days. Seriously bad, raw spot on my nose bad (from blowing/wiping)--this is a first.

One the way home from work yesterday, I was finally starting to perk up a bit and it was positively gorgeous outside so I had all the windows down and the roof open for the commute home. All was well and good until I hit the highway, I had not properly calculated the air currents rolling through my vehicle nor reconciled them to the mass of the stack of used Kleenexes (a proprietary eponym and a victim of genericide) and out the windows they floated and flew.

Making me... a litterer. At least my tabs are current.

The upcoming rain eases my conscience that they won't become part of home for some adorable woodland creature or bird.

High Praise

2009-07-22T21:26:00.007-05:00

So, I have precious few readers. I suppose this is appropriate seeing as how I have been logging precious few entries.

Most of them love me based on blood, marriage or... years of service. But tonight I am writing about one reader who I haven't known very long and don't know super well however I like her a lot. She's one cool broad and not just because she has great taste in blogs and pics.

Jen, JRO... this one's for you. Thanks for the readership and the camera tips (am still beaming from your feedback ;).

If Coors Light had a "Real B*tch&s of Genius" marketing campaign I would probably have a link just for you, instead here's one for Amy (one of my all time faves) that if it doesn't kick her gagger in, it will at least make her tear up with laughter.

Best of Canada 2009

2009-07-13T21:22:00.003-05:00

While my photography has improved I am still not the prodigy I had hoped. It took 154 clicks of the shutter to get 10 share worthy photos. I love the flora and fauna as subjects and think a trip to the arboretum might be on the horizon once I read a few more chapters in the 'how to' books.

Summer Maintenance

2009-06-16T21:53:00.004-05:00

This is some comical marketing from our friends at Schick. The American commercial is quite subtle while the UK advert is a little more... er, um, shall we say obvious.

Considering my salty feud with Gillette this might be enough to turn me into a Schick girl.

Currently playing on American TV

The UK Version...

Wow. All I have to say is wow.

The First 100 Grays

2009-04-29T19:28:00.004-05:00

As I am watching the presidential news conference I am astounded by what appears to be a significant increase in the amount of salt in President Obama's pepper.

He either has the worst colorist on the planet or this president thing is a tough job. I suspect the latter. Take it easy, take a vacation like your predecessor.

Or did he use up all the PTO?

Aah the little things

2009-04-08T20:00:00.003-05:00

Let me start by disclosing that is has been a particularly difficult couple of days at the old salt mine. Simply brutal.

And in the spirit of disclosure this post only makes sense with the true confession of my "approach" to recycling. I want to recycle and I sort of do but it manifests itself as an unsorted pile of beer/liquor/wine bottles and Progresso soup cans. I have been evil-eyeing the pile in my garage all winter and waiting for the sunny Spring Saturday that I would sort it and dispose of it properly. I had even envisioned a blog entry with a photo of all the booze bottles titled "Dear Mr. Recycling Technician, I am not an alcoholic or party animal."

But driving down my street tonight, today was garbage day, I see that streamlined processes have beat me to it. Awaiting me at the end my driveway was a new addition to my garbage can family... a yellow-lidded recycling dumpster. No more with the sorting. No more with the bagging. Just simplified recycling goodness. If the thing weren't made of plastic I'd swear my carbon footprint just dropped 3o points.

At any rate... that sunshine yellow lid and the promise of a tidier garage was a great pick-me-up at the end of a long day. Now, let me drain another bottle for the bin.

Advice to Time Life

2009-03-26T20:42:00.003-05:00

So lately I have been falling asleep during the Daily Show and waking up in the middle of the night to Time Life infomercials featuring their CD collections--most recently Monster Ballads and 70's Love Songs to be specific.

Half asleep I mumble "oh I love that song" but don't quite muster the wherewithal to write down the name of the song. It popped into my head as a random thought tonight after some wine and Chinese takeaway and I tickety tap tap tapped it into the Googler to see if I could find a list of the songs in the collection.

And indeed I did. So instead of three easy payments of $39.99 I was able to cherrypick the CD song list for my favorites and download only the ones I wanted from iTunes for one payment well under $39.99.

My advice to Time Life is once the infomercial is over... don't let me see all the songs. The gerries and bluehairs you are targeting have kids and grand kids with ipods; they are wise to this technology thing.

MST3K for Girls

2009-02-11T20:26:00.004-06:00

Is this title sexist? Yes.
Is this title accurate? Yes!

First off, let me say I love, Love, LOVED Mystery Science Theater 3000 and still do. Long since done and not to be found in syndication I miss it however it only ever nourished half of my witty, biting sarcastic appetite--the grade B movie loving inner nerd. I found a new and fantastic substitute tonight by accident for my girly side.

The show is called Whatever, Martha on FLN (Fine Living Network) and it is quite simply Alexis Stewart (Martha's daughter) and her sidekick Jennifer (who bears a shocking resemblance in look and style to my dear friend Kati Cunningham) and they basically just rip on Martha and her vignettes. They are merciless and seemingly unfiltered. And what really cracks me up is that Martha is an exec. producer on the show so she is "in on it" which relieves me of any guilt.

OMG... to marry up witty and cutting rips with one of my favorite topics; cooking, crafts, housekeeping and cooking--basically all things Martha--is just plain good TV.

But in all honesty...
Could one of my chicas and I do it better? Hell yes!

Attention Ad Men & Marketing Mavens

2009-01-30T20:19:00.004-06:00

If you have any stake at all in the results of your company/firm's marketing or advertising read on... If you want your ad to get legs you've simply got to get it online.

And a quality version too and named, tagged and SEOed for words that your target market is going to use in his/her search!

Here is a great example of an ad that made me laugh out loud and hunt for it. I spent a good 3-4 mins. Started with youtube and when that didn't work I hit the googler ultimately finding the link on a discussion board where people were talking about how funny it was and the link took me back to youtube.

Since then I found two versions of it (both on youtube...hmmm).

The low quality video easily found on a discussion board (Again, fine people at Subway, people are talking about your ads.)
The high quality version with a title that would have never occurred to me to use to search.

And Super Bowl Ad mavericks, I'll be keeping score to whose hunt-worthy ads I can find the fastest online.

Stay tuned. Pun intended.

That's a lotta douche

2009-01-26T20:08:00.003-06:00

As context know that douche and all variants is one of my favorite non-curse pejoratives. Amy, my officemate and friend, was throwing some smack talk my way and so I returned the volley with a harsh "quit being such a douche." Needless to say she took issue.

But not only did she take issue, she was curious and threw douche into the Googler. She came upon a medical supply website that comes complete with instructions. We roared with laughter reading the instructions below and by the final douche I think all was forgiven.

Sterilize the Enema Set by keeping them in luke-warm water for 3 to 4 hours (overnight) and wash the douche can properly.
Fix the douche tube with douche bag by inserting bottom nozzle of douche bag in one end of douche tube.
Fix the stop cock* on the other end of douche tube.
Fill the douche bag with luke-warm water to be used for enema.
Fix the rectal/vagina** pipe with stop cock.
Place the douche bag at a height to ensure good flow of water.
Lubricate the Rectal/Vaginal pipe/nozzle with vaseline.***
Turn the knob to let the air out of the rubber tube.
Prepare yourself for enema. (Please ensure that you are in a good health and are able to carry enema activities.)
Insert the rectal/vaginal pipe into the anus/vagina and turn the knob of stop cork so that it allows flow of water through it.
Take out the rectal/vaginal pipe when enema is over. Wash again all the enema equipment with warm water.

*Stop cock... as if this could get any funnier.
**Notice that these instructions are for a multi-purpose douche, irrespective of your personal plumbing.
***Hmmm petroleum jelly is the generic term... use of Vaseline should be capitalized. tsk tsk tsk.

Good times Amy, good times.

The New Drunk Dial

2009-01-22T21:25:00.004-06:00

The new drunk dial is drunk blogging.

You know what a good fundraising model is? All the wine you can drink with limited/strained hors d'oeuvres service.

Well done. I gave from the heart via the glass.

Hey CBS, tick tock tick tock

2009-01-18T21:32:00.003-06:00

I don't know how FOX does it but nearly every week during the football season they seem to wrap up on time while CBS chronically runs long.

You've got a little over 200 days to get your act together until the 2009 season kicks off (pun intended)... I'm certain you can get some tips from the FOX sports team.

I was duped.

2009-01-18T16:04:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, I showed up at a birthday party for Julie's (one of my BFF) youngest kidlet, Maggie. Julie and I had plans to hit the town after. I think I was probably her exit strategy to discourage hangers on. Julie is thoughtfully prudent with her invitations to events like this lest folks like me feel obligated to attend. I was kind of excited to get the invite. I like Maggie a lot and haven't seen a number of Julie's family members for a awhile and was looking forward to catching up.

However, that was not the party I stepped into. She said the party would run from 2:00-4:00 and I could come by anytime after 2:00. I was out and about running errands and arrived at about 2:20 and while I should have been tipped off by the mention of a Hannah Montana theme and the lack of cars in the driveway and street I entered boldly to find a herd of 4-year-old girls and none of the adults I was expecting.

That was a lot of little girls and I earned my cupcake and the two Guinness at dinner later. Yikes. Jule, you've now got your first entry. Next time I'll ask for the full guest list.

London Calling

2009-01-13T21:26:00.004-06:00

Here is the summary of a recent discussion with my friend, Michele, as we--in a brunch induced haze--hatched the plan to head to the UK...

(Context: Michele is my Las Vegas subject matter expert and we've been talking about an trip to Vegas together for years)

KW: Ok, let's talk about this trip.
MD: Yeah, about that. I have to say, I'm kind of over Vegas and need a break. But I do have this new passport that needs a stamp.
KW: That's cool. I think I can help with that. If I'm being honest though, I gotta say, I'm kinda over the whole Mexico/Caribbean thing.
MD: Well, I've been doing some research and I think we can get to London and back for under a grand.
KW: Get out!
MD: Yep.
KW: OMG... let's do it. We're going to London.

In all honesty, this transcript wouldn't hold up in a court of law but it is directionally correct. Two items to note gentle reader are that I am going to London (am super pumped) and I think the fine people at Jensen's spike their syrup with just a little bit of crack-cocaine.

First ever online edition!

2008-12-30T19:43:00.009-06:00

Someday. (sigh)

Some Christmas I will have it proofed perfectly and have it in your mailbox by December 23rd.

This was not that Christmas.

HOWEVER... this is the first year that I will publish an online copy of the Holiday Examiner--the holiday newsletter that launched the blog--for my web savvy nerds, my green tree-huggers, and any distant acquaintances who don't yet qualify a 42 cent stamp.

Peruse the .pdf courtesy of FreePDFHosting.com at your convenience and/or click through the album of featured photos online for higher quality pics courtesy of Picasa 3. What can I say, I'm closet geek. :)

Happy New Year!
xo
kw

No, you don't need glasses

2008-12-30T19:22:00.003-06:00

Blast you Vista. You got me again.

Upon printing and picking up the 2008 Holiday Examiner this weekend I learned of new defect--er um enhancement--in Word 2007. While complete with some very sexy photo treatments they degrade the quality of picture exponentially. My fine friends a FedEx Kinko's (love them!) offered to rerun the job at no cost but it would have required I head home, tweak each pic, resend job then go back and pick up. Sorry readers... I said "Screw it."

Consider it like this, I am 35 now and if I were on TV they would be shooting me through a filter, perhaps cheesecloth even. Why should my sans celebrity life be any different?

Surely I jest. I've uploaded the original photos for your online viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

Holiday Dining Shame

2008-12-16T18:40:00.005-06:00

The drive home was bad tonight. Not as bad as my friend Anti-Kristin had it but bad nonetheless. While I kept the road rage in check what spiralled out of control was my appetite. I got home and needed dinner now.

My cupboards slash fridge are not bare but they don't include enough independent ingredients to pull together a meal: egg noodles and cranberry sauce, cous cous and peanut butter, deli roast beef and yogurt... I think not.

Instead, I ate a dinner of Holiday rarities standing at the kitchen counter:

Six pieces of headcheese with Saltines
Two spritz (one tree, one wreath)
One cut-out (Santa with red sugar)
My last Harvest Moon ale

Truly a busy gal's dinner and the saddest part of all is that I love to cook and have mad skillz to boot. As soon as the roads clear I need a trip to the grocery store but until then I know I have enough for sustenance.

Thank God for the headcheese, just like in the old country.

Could this be...

2008-12-04T18:53:00.003-06:00

...the most amazing celebrity comeback ever?

I just got home and saw the world premiere of Britney Spears' new video Circus and that tune along with Womanizer have me completely vexed.

Never a fan of Britney the teen years (version 1.0), disinterested during her rise to super stardom (v1.5), marveled at the grocery store headlines during the KFed and the crazy (v2.0), continued marvelling at the continued crazy and her downward spiral (v3.0) I am now shocked at the appeal of her tunes as she rises from the ashes--version 4.oh?

While not ready to commit the .99 cents yet, I may actually need a track for my ipod. I think they might fit right into my Girl Power Dance Party mix for when I boogie vacuum.

Peyton and I discussed it...

2008-11-23T14:37:00.003-06:00

Not since the Samuel L. Jackson/Snakes on a Plane voice mails have I seen a personalized marketing message that made me laugh this hard.

Send some advice from you and Peyton to someone you love--or even someone you don't like.

The process puke in me especially loves Peyton's blocking in the video so that the variable words can run against one single video thread. Priceless indeed.

Fast fingers make for great typos.

2008-11-06T22:52:00.002-06:00

We have an instant messaging system at work to aid in collaboration across departments and locations. As a championship multi-tasker this is a tool I love; I can have four little blinking screens going at once resolving four different questions or hunting down data.

But with increased WIP and speed, quality suffers but not without a chuckle. Here are the top three typos of the week including intended word and a definition for the new derivative.

Antidepresents (intended word: antidepressants)
noun: these are gifts that actually make the recipient sad/depressed.
Retarted (intended word: retarded)
adjective: mildly deficient dessert in the tart family.
Brasiest (intended word: busiest)
adjective: the fastest bra around

That last typo was the most indicative of the week.

This Week in Pumpkin: Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale

2008-11-05T18:00:00.004-06:00

Courtesy of the fine people at the Blue Moon Brewing Company (their website is worth the click) I have been gluttonously indulging in their autumn brew, Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale. This drinks quite simply like a frosty fall symphony in a glass.

The flavors are so subtle and complex I am almost compelled to describe them with the pretentious alternate spelling--flavour. Warm pumpkin, earthy fall spices, the tiniest whiff of sweetness all with without sacrificing a hearty heaping helping of rich beer flavor.

In the event you prefer something closer to a traditional, eastern European Oktoberfest fair try Affligem. Slightly less interesting on the palate but no less delicious. By the way... the history of the beer is equally delightful.

No recipe required here campers... just sit, sip and savor.

This is not a NAMBLA joke*

2008-11-04T19:44:00.004-06:00

November is National Blog Posting Month, abbreviated ever so succinctly as NaBloPoMo, and I am committing to get on board and aspiring toward success.

This means one blog entry a day, everyday, for the month of November. Today is the fourth and I should have four on the books. And even though I just found out about it today (putting me behind by one for those of you keeping score) I am committing to wrap the month with 30 posts to show for it.

Comment early and often; Blogging is much like Field of Dreams--if you write it they will come.

For those who follow The Daily Show the NAMBLA joke is for you. :)

Is it wrong?

2008-11-04T06:28:00.003-06:00

Is it wrong that the election coverage I am most anticipating this evening is the Stewart/Colbert coverage? I mean I'm plenty interested it's just that I prefer my coverage with a little more levity.

Close your PC and get out and use your voice today... Vote.

This Week in Pumpkin: Caribbean Pumpkin and Black Bean Soup

2008-11-01T17:08:00.003-05:00

An easy soup I whipped on a chilly Sunday for a visit from my Madagascar travel buddy and favorite vegetarian Joanna. Super easy and uniquely tasty.

Ingredients:
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 15-ounce can pure pumpkin puree
1 15-ounce can black beans, drained
1 14-ounce can light unsweetened coconut milk
1 cup canned vegetable broth
4 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
2 teaspoons fresh lime juice
3/4 teaspoon grated lime peel

Preparation:
Stir cumin in heavy medium saucepan over medium heat 30 seconds. Add pumpkin, beans, coconut milk, broth and 3 tablespoons cilantro. Bring soup to boil, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer 3 minutes to blend flavors. Mix in lime juice and lime peel. Season soup with salt and pepper. Ladle soup into bowls. Sprinkle with remaining 1 tablespoon cilantro.

Hurray for Layaway!

2008-10-21T20:43:00.002-05:00

I miss the nostalgia of simpler times from my childhood and it seems like I was probably a kid when I last heard the term layaway. With so many Americans swimming in bills and drowning in debt I could not be more thrilled to see the Kmart marketing a tried and true tactic for troubled pocketbooks. Kmart is reviving layaway.

I want to give Kmart a retail hug. A reverse boycott… a supportcott!!!

For the rest of 2008 Kmart will be the recipient of my discount retail dollars. Join me in this blue light brigade in support of their layaway program and honor the pay now and get later priorities of our parents and grandparents in favor of the get now and pay later mentality that can be an express checkout into trouble.

My Kind of Town, Chicago Is.

2008-10-20T20:48:00.002-05:00

I just got back from my first grown up weekend in Chicago (I’d been before as a kid [Great America] and in 2000 on a 14 week project in the suburbs) and an awesome stay at the Brown B&B.

The hospitality of the proprietors is eclipsed only by their company—and perhaps their adorable four-legged bell-hop Jackson. We had bluebird weather and the most amazing city as a backdrop to our exciting agenda. I would upload pictures but I am on the couch but my camera is two rooms and my feet still hurt.

Friday: An early morning flight had me in the Windy City in time for a brownstone stroll from Kate’s to lunch. Then a city tour and wine and snack replenishment before settling in one of Chicago’s fine pubs, Halligan Bar where the Guinness flows freely for $3 a glass. We spent a while there then dined on pizza.
Saturday: A leisurely breakfast and coffee was the fuel we needed for a Chicago Segway Tour along the lake front. It takes a while to get the hang of it but dang it is fun! And makes shocking use of every little ligament and tendon in your feet and ankles. Sunshine and the 7.5mph wind in our hair (top speed) plus a spicy Mexican lunch and strong margarita’s at El Jardin Café required a nap to recover. We dined at Calo Ristorante for dinner where we had the most amazing lobster ravioli. And tiramisu take out dessert for later.
Sunday: A 12-minute stroll to the Addison El station, directly behind Wrigley Field, where we picked up the Red Line to take us to Soldier Field for the Bears versus Vikings. I had heard ahead of time that Bears fans could be, er, um difficult but that was not the case. We found ourselves surrounded by good humored fans who tolerated my purple pride. Dinner at Vines on Clark and it was time to pack and brave the traffic to O’Hare.

My quality time with Kate and Jason at the Brown B&B had come to an end but memories that will last a lifetime, pictures that I’ll share soon and cravings that will haunt me until I can visit again.

This Week in Pumpkin: Pumpkin Bread Pudding

2008-10-13T19:00:00.004-05:00

You know you really love to cook when you pop out of work during lunch to drive 35 blocks to a bakery to pick up and ingredient for a recipe. So when my Friday workday pinched my cooking timeline ahead of the dinner I was going to there was no way I was going to let $8 in brioche go to waste.

Enter this fantastic Sunday half-time snack. It followed roasted squash soup and roasted chicken breast and was enjoyed side by side with four of my favorite meal companions--Mom, Lance, Sarah and Sophie.*

I am including a link to the original recipe but posting the recipe with my superior modifications.

Pumpkin Bread Pudding
2 cups half and half
1 15-ounce can pure pumpkin
1 cup (packed) plus 2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cardamom (kw tweak)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 tablespoon orange zest (kw tweak)
10 cups 1/2-inch cubes egg bread (about 10-ounces)

Vanilla Caramel sauce
1 1/4 cups (packed) brown sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
1 small vanilla bean split lenghtwise (kw tweak)
1/2 cup whipping cream
Powdered sugar

For bread pudding: Preheat oven to 350°F. Whisk half and half, pumpkin, dark brown sugar, eggs, pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon and vanilla extract in large bowl to blend. Fold in bread cubes. Stir in golden raisins. Transfer mixture to 11x7-inch glass baking dish. Let stand 15 minutes. Bake pumpkin bread pudding until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 40 minutes.

Meanwhile, prepare caramel sauce: Whisk brown sugar and butter in heavy medium saucepan over medium heat until butter melts. Scrape seeds from bean with a knife into cream and add to pan. Whisk in cream and stir until sugar dissolves and sauce is smooth, about 3 minutes.

Sift powdered sugar over bread pudding. Serve warm with caramel sauce.

*Dad is out of town hunting.

Peak Season

2008-10-05T12:13:00.010-05:00

As soon as the gourds begin to swell and dot the landscape with orange my palate turns to all things pumpkin. Yesterday was an excellent example of my autumn weakness—two of my three meals contained a pumpkin feature. The graph* below is an illustrative example of the dramatic spike in my consumption.

Last year I made a special effort to test one new pumpkin recipe a week… this year I will endeavor to do the same and keep you posted on the winners. This week’s rundown was anchored by my annual favorite Bruegger’s offering, their pumpkin bagel with pumpkin cream cheese. So good, my annual Bruegger’s consumption probably mirrors the graph above. Oooh sooo good.

*Maximum of 21 on y-axis representing approximate weekly opportunities of three meals per day times seven days in a week.

Adage Snobbery

2008-10-01T20:15:00.004-05:00

Okay... there are a few topics that inspire true snobbery on my part and adages is one of them. There are so many to choose from and they are such a colorful depiction of a situation that using them inappropriately is like using the orange crayon to color a banana.

One of the most frequent (and annoying) infractions I hear is interchanging/misusing the two clarified below.

elephant in the room n. A very large issue that everyone is acutely aware of, but nobody wants to talk about. Perhaps a sore spot, perhaps politically incorrect, or perhaps a political hot potato, it's something that no one wants to touch with a ten foot pole.
800-pound gorilla n. An overbearing entity in a specific industry or sphere of activity. A seemingly unbeatable presence always to be reckoned with; whose experience, influence, and skill threatens to defeat competitors with little effort.

Come one people... get your exotic animals and their fictional social situations straight.

Someone is Always Listening

2008-09-23T20:30:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I need a little mental sorbet. Something to just clear out my mental palate and what better than the comedy of people watching without leaving my cube. Enter overheardinminneapolis.com. A site for people to post the oddities they overhear on any given day anywhere they might hear it. Think of it as voyeurism for you ears.

And sometimes they just come to me... This is a transcript between my friend Kate and I at work. Some of our better work indeed. While longer than your typical overheard snippit, the whole chat lasted maybe three minutes.

Kristen Weingart... grammar check...
Kate Brown/MN... ah yes - my favorite subject
Kristen Weingart... was I lying in bed last night
Kristen Weingart... or was I laying in bed last night.
Kristen Weingart... (and i was neither fibbing or getting my grove on.. simply prone.)
Kate Brown/MN... wait...I know this one - there's a trick to it
Kate Brown/MN... LMAO
Kate Brown/MN... I think people lay and objects lie, but I'm not sure
Kate Brown/MN... checking though
Kate Brown/MN... except that my computer has ground to a halt...ah, here we go
Kate Brown/MN... it appears, though I have to check one more thing, that you lie in bed
Kate Brown/MN... you lay when your action has a recipient, or object, as the grammatical term would be
Kate Brown/MN... lie down
Kate Brown/MN... lay something on the counter
Kristen Weingart... excellent.
Kristen Weingart... so i was lying in bed?
Kate Brown/MN... which makes sense when you think of it in the carnal sense...it always has an object (usually the speaker)
Kate Brown/MN... yes, it is now confirmed
Kate Brown/MN... you were lying in bed
Kate Brown/MN... if you were laying in bed, we would need to know who the object was to satisfy the grammatical requirement
Kristen Weingart... wow... there are so may double entendre options it is staggering.
Kate Brown/MN... I know - it's hard to choose just one
Kristen Weingart... well i can let this one lay...
Kristen Weingart... as for lying in bed... I never fake it.
Kristen Weingart... LOL
Kate Brown/MN... no...you'd have to let it lie
Kate Brown/MN... LOL
Kristen Weingart... wait.. isn't the object satisfied by 'double entendre'
Kate Brown/MN... it is...but for the verb "to let," not the verb "to lie"
Kristen Weingart... thanks.
Kate Brown/MN... no problem

Ten Days

2008-09-21T12:18:00.006-05:00

I don’t often legitimize my personal top tens by actually formalizing lists but when a friend of mine recently called me on the carpet for gushing cavalierly "this day is one of my favorite days of the year" it inspired a more thoughtful review to see if I could come up with ten.

Here is where I landed:
1. Thanksgiving Day
2. The Day After Thanksgiving (Christmas tree goes up during 007 Marathon on SpikeTV)
3. Christmas Eve
4. The first Sunday in July (it is usually the first day on the lake fishing)
5. The NFL season opener
6. The Cole Fantasy League draft party
7. Every day I get to spend with Sophie
8. The day I hit the Renaissance Fair with my peeps
9. The first significant snow when I don’t have to work
10. Any day I debut a new pair of shoes

Putting the 'W' in WTF

2008-09-20T20:33:00.003-05:00

Dear Lord in heaven is this my October surprise? http://www.wthefilm.com/

I might have to buy a ticket just to see:

Richard Dreyfuss as Dick Cheney
Thandie Newton as Condolezza Rice
Rob Corddry as Ari Fleischer

Playing W for Brolin had to have been more mentally tormenting than playing the Joker for Ledger. If Brolin gets even half as close as John Stewart's version of Bushy's snarky laugh... Give him the Oscar.

Shine Your Badge

2008-09-14T12:56:00.005-05:00

This is the phrase Sarah, my sister-in-law, uses with me if I am shirking a compliment or behaving overly humble. I had a minor domestic disaster this weekend which upon the after action review I feel compelled to pull out the polish and a soft cloth.

At about 3:00AM Saturday morning I awoke to a noise. Realizing I had fallen asleep watching the news I turned off the TV and snuggled down to resume my regularly scheduled slumber. With the TV quieted I heard from downstairs a very loud and persistent whooshing noise—the whooshing noise that even half asleep I could tell was rushing water.

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter… When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a large pool of water on my living room floor.

Alas, my water softener (circa 1985) had given up the main seal at the top of the tank. I hit the pool of water and began a sprint to the kitchen only then to execute the perfect cartoon fall in the living room. You know the one where your legs somehow slip forward out from underneath you and you hang horizontally in mid-air for a moment before you hit the floor flat on some combination of your back and butt. I pulled myself up, now sopping wet, and quickly (yet carefully) padded into the laundry room behind the kitchen to access the water main. With each crank of the valve the gushing diminished.

The floor was my number one priority… pooling water is the archenemy of laminate wood floor. Thankfully there was a pile of dirty towels in the laundry room. I sopped and wiped and repeated before I positioned a fan to finish the work I couldn’t. I decided that the collateral damage of paint cans and Christmas decorations would be better handled I the light of day. Off to bed—after all it was only 3:45.

I spent the better part of Saturday cleaning up the mess and drying things out and during that time I realized how well I had handled this little snafu.

I did not cry, not once. Not only that but I remained calm.
I knew where all the shut-offs were and on Saturday when it came time to turn the water to the house back on and by-pass the water softener I knew how to, and had the tools to loosen up frozen valves.
I have enough savings on hand to buy a new softener without feeling even a pinch.

Yeah, I kinda rock.

Pure Bliss

2008-09-07T21:39:00.000-05:00

A second cup of coffee steaming in my hand, the FOX pregame show* buzzing through the tv, a cool breeze billowing the drapes complemented by a crisp Sunday paper warming my lap—if this isn’t heaven I don’t know what is.

We have now entered the sweet sixteen. The best 16 weeks the year has to offer. And Entourage starts tonight again to boot.

*Now featuring a weekly dose of Michael Strahan. Yum.

Stink-eye

2008-09-07T16:29:00.003-05:00

I don’t abide rudeness and stink-eye is my version of the ‘Withering Glace’ these two writers so aptly title their column in the Tribune. Needless to say, I was delighted to read today that I am not alone.

In summary; take a shower, put your cell phone away and shut your cakehole.

Can you feel it?

2008-09-02T21:51:00.001-05:00

Oh the difference a day makes.
They barely drained the grease from the fryers at the Fair before a morning downpour washed away the residue of summer. Good riddance.

The coolness in the air can only mean that the best 16 weeks of the year are just around the corner. Bring on the Fall with all of it’s sights, smells and sounds--and sleeping with the windows open.

RETRO-ENTRY: Muddy in Madagascar

2008-08-15T09:04:00.005-05:00

Editors note: Retro-entry is a term I am coining right now to account for time bound entries that I wrote either mentally or with actual pen and paper but were unable to post at the time.

Back-story: I composed this update to family and friends while in Madagascar but my update efforts were thwarted by connectivity issues. (two words: dial-up)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Greetings from the Big Red Island! Madagascar is nicknamed the Big Red Island after the red clay earth that seems to get everywhere.

After a long journey I landed safe and sound in Madagascar with my luggage. The team is great and gelling. It is actually quite a fun social experiment to watch people come together and observe how quickly they (correction: we) form our own short-hand of inside jokes.

The Malagasy people are very warm and welcoming. I am learning that the only thing worse than my French is my Malagache. I do try though.

I can’t type long as this French keyboard will be the death of me--you won't believe where they put the Q. Here are a few early highlights relevant to a number of my contributors:

Mom & Laura: The flowers and birds here are amazing. Poinsettias a story high, orchids abound and bird songs that are like music
Julie: Rice. Lots and lots of rice. This would be your rice heaven.
Sarah: I have been healthy so far and have not needed anything from my medication bag although I am so glad to have it and the second box of Wet Wipes.
Lance, Jason, Jen: There is a guy on the team who speaks WOW—much better that me actually (wouldn’t take much)—so I can indulge my inner geek as needed.
Kirk: The night-life/bar scene is sketchy above my risk tolerance but never fear, I am drinking the local brew exclusively. Three Horses Beer (THB on the street) is a nice light pilsner that comes in 65cl bottles which I affectionately, albeit incorrectly, refer to as 40’s.
Michele: Madagascar is rife with comic sans. So much so that I am convinced it is holding the country back.

I can’t recall a time when I have ever been this dirty; I spent the day in a trench laying six courses of brick foundation (alternating with my wingman Joanna). A shower and a THB are waiting for me at the hotel… along with some rice.

Having fun, wish you were here. Thanks for making the trip possible.

Predictions and Promises

2008-07-23T23:32:00.002-05:00

Prediction: By this time next week I will be very sore and a whole new kind of tired...but in a good way.
Prediction: I’ll see a thing or two that I’ve never seen before and might never again.
Prediction: This upcoming adventure will no doubt result in stories to regale you with later.

What I could not have predicted was the generosity of my family and friends. You stunned and humbled me with your contributions. You contributed almost 70% of the nearly $4000 I needed to make the trip. Your kind and generous contributions have made this possible and in return you have purchased a subscription to whatever updates I can ticketty-tap-tap-tap out whilst abroad.

In addition to the financial contributions you have all been very generous with the well wishes and travel advice and as a result of what I heard:

I promise to steer clear of animals higher on the food chain than me.
I promise to lift with my legs, measure once and cut twice.
I promise to immerse myself in the culture and embrace the adventure.
I promise to always travel with a buddy.
I promise to come home safe and sound.

VelOOM, Mandra piOON
(Good-bye, see you again)

Cool Drink for Hot Daze

2008-07-01T21:12:00.004-05:00

I think I'm in trouble. I have long been a mojito fan and just stumbled across this delicious bastardization while searching for a boozy slush recipe for the up coming Fourth of July weekend. I found this tasty marriage of the two, made a couple modification and voila...

Mojito Slushy*

2 limes, zested
1/2 cup fresh lime juice (coincidentally about two limes)
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup fresh mint leaves, firmly packed
3/4 to 1 cup light rum
6 cups ice
Mint sprigs and lime wedges, for garnish

Heat the honey in the microwave just for few seconds to liquefy and pour into the blender. Add lime zest, lime juice, mint leaves, and rum into a blender and blend until smooth. Add ice to fill blender and blend until slushy. Spoon into glasses; garnish with a sprig of mint and a lime slice.

*Adapted from Tyler Florence's recipe on foodnetwork.com where he calls for making a simple syrup and using 1 cup of it over my honey substitute... I'm all like, hey Tyler I wore dirty clothes to work last week... I need to get my drink on and don't have time to eff around with a simple syrup.

I Love Big Balls

2008-06-24T19:43:00.002-05:00

And I cannot lie.

I am screaming with laughter watching ABC premiere its newest summer filler. A primetime, reality contest show called Wipeout.

It is a timed obstacle course—frankly obstacle course is an understatement. One of the obstacles is series of four huge red rubber balls (panicked dodge ball flashbacks anyone?) and these people are taking some spectacular spills off of and pinballing down between these balls as they fall into the pool below.

Oh and to add to the humor, providing color commentary is on John Henson who served as Greg Kinnear’s successor (and quite frankly upgrade) on E’s laugh riot talk show summary, Talk Soup.

Seriously, I am laughing so hard I think I just peed a little… better get on that laundry.

Airing my Dirty Laundry… Literally

2008-06-24T19:34:00.002-05:00

Today’s outfit was brought to you by the letters D and L as in dirty laundry—or on the DL after this true confession.

Gentle readers I have been over scheduled and over stimulated lately, am exhausted and behind on all things personal. Today, my entire outfit was fished out of the dirty laundry and fluffed in the dryer. Fortunately I don’t have BO and despite my shame I was still lookin' good.

The high point of the day was when my pod-mate at work jokingly and incredulously asked me “Is that what you’re wearing?” to a special recognition lunch with one of our executives. When he reads this he’ll know how truly funny his comment was.

I can feel Clinton, Stacy and Tim Gunn disapproving of me.

Summer Fun

2008-06-16T21:57:00.002-05:00

Had my first summeresque weekend with a visit to the cabin with the extended family and I can’t think of a better way to express simple lazy summer days that with a trio of haiku.

hear baby giggles
tickled feet by fresh green grass
pontoon with cigar

hammock swaying breeze
warm sun cold margarita
board game laughter roars

sunny wind swept hair
ipod shuff’ling favorites
relaxing drive home

Off Pace

2008-06-13T16:44:00.002-05:00

No campers, I'm not boycotting salsa; I'm taking a midyear assessment of my blogging performance. It can be summed up in two words: Dead Red.

When I began I had this vision of posting twice a week (no laughing, a girl has to have a vision) and as we are wrapping week 24 tomorrow I should have 48 posts. Alas... I am a sad, sad, 27% of target and hence dead red or in this case dead read. It’s not that this blogging thing is hard per se but it is challenging aligning the topic, the words and the fingers on the key board all at the same time.

Nevertheless… we reassess and recommit and I've got some pearls in the pipeline so set your RSS to stun and comment early and often.

Dang.

2008-04-30T20:50:00.003-05:00

He's still got it!
Flipping through the channels I fell upon Neil Diamond singing on American Idol, pimping a new CD he's 'dropping' on May 6th. He's singing a new... yes... new... single called 'Pretty Amazing Grace.' And pretty amazing is an understatement.

Way to go Neil. Allow me to reiterate--Dang.

P.S. It appears to me that Neil is aging quite handsomely and unassisted by chemical/surgical intervention; perhaps he could advise Barry Manilow.

An old friend with a new twist

2008-04-20T20:22:00.003-05:00

Last night after our Spring pilgrimage to the Albertville outlet mall Michele, one of my best girlfriends, and I tracked down some dinner. Both in the mood for a burger we hit Grumpy's Bar and Grill where we split two of the most unique and tastiest burgers I can ever recall. Behold...

Southern Style "The Elvis": Black Angus grilled to order and topped with peanut butter and crispy bacon. Don't judge, this one must be sampled then assessed.
Cream Cheese Burger: Char grilled perfection topped with a healthy dollop of cream cheese laced with chives, garlic and bacon.

Don't walk; run to Grumpy's to satisfy your next hamburger hankering.

Sophie Chronicles: Day Two

2008-03-27T21:01:00.006-05:00

Today was day two with little miss Sophie and I have been watching her closely. She has a few makeshift toys at antie Kristen's house that she enjoys but they seem to be lacking. I decided after Lance came to pick her up today that I would go on the hunt for a special present. She needed a toy that:

Has buttons, like the remote control.
Has blinking lights and colors like the phone.
Had a chewable, child-friendly surface--unlike either of the above.

This is what I do, I am a careful student of my nearest and dearest to compile enough data to find the perfect and unexpected gift. I found just such a gift for Sophie at target--a little trinket from our good friends at Baby Einstein. This gift is special because it's the first one I am buying her based on actually 'knowing' her.

I think she'll like it... I'll let you know.

Niece in a Box

2008-03-26T21:09:00.005-05:00

The phrase made famous by the SNL short (Note: link takes viewer to uncensored content... when viewing it won't be 'bleep' in a box) here is a similar take on my first full day watching my niece Sophie. Old school play pen courtesy of Ikea.

We had fun today... she was extremely patient with me.

And the winner is...

2008-03-24T20:21:00.003-05:00

I mentioned in my Christmas letter my new obsession with recipe/food tasting judging contests and Easter Sunday was the perfect opportunity to get cooking. It was the Hollandaise showdown and classic Eggs Benedict was my canvas.

Lance and Sarah--my willing diners and seasoned judges--and I tasted four different Hollandaise sauces using three different methods. The winning recipe, featured below, was the most tasty and the easiest to pull off:

Blender Hollandaise Sauce

INGREDIENTS
3 egg yolks
1/4 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 dash hot pepper sauce (e.g. Tabasco™)
1/2 cup butter

DIRECTIONS
In the container of a blender, combine the egg yolks, mustard, lemon juice and hot pepper sauce. Cover, and blend for about 5 seconds. Place the butter in a glass measuring cup. Heat butter in the microwave for about 1 minute, or until completely melted and hot. Set the blender on high speed, and pour the butter into the egg yolk mixture in a thin stream. It should thicken almost immediately. Keep the sauce warm until serving by placing the blender container in a pan of hot tap water.

The runners up were; 2nd place, Cub Foods sauce mix, 3rd place, Knorr (by Lipton) sauce mix and the 4th place, Good Housekeeping classic recipe proved too lemony for Benedict but I suspect it would brighten up the spring asparagus harvest.

Pigg vs. Pig

2008-03-15T17:17:00.002-05:00

Well, it finally happened, after nearly 20 years with an unblemished driving record I received my first moving violation yesterday. I rock 'n rolled a stop sign at an intersection that had tumbleweed rolling through it. A po-po was waiting for me around the corner.

The funny thing is that I was truly just lost in the day. It was a beautiful blue-sky Friday at 4:30 and my spring fever is in high gear. Was headed over to the rents house for some dinner and quality time with my niece Sophie. Here is where it gets a little weird... I was completely engrossed in this interview on the radio with a current favorite musician of mine, Landon Pigg.

Curious that I was busted by the pig while listening to the Pigg and not a strip of bacon anywhere.

In a word... Eeewww

2008-03-09T13:19:00.008-05:00

After putting the vacuum together and took it for a test drive in my living room. Below is a picture of my results. Allow me to give you some context:

I live alone.
I have no pets.
I have wood floor laminate throughout my first floor.
I take my shoes off in the foyer and spend my time barefoot or in socks.
I have actually vacuumed before.

These are the results of vacumming a 4x7 patch of a 3-year-old wool area rug.

Needless to say my new Dyson sucks big time... in a good way.

Worth every penny!

Conflicted and Torn

2008-03-08T16:33:00.002-06:00

After four days of troubleshooting my new PC decided to take it back and start over. Am relieved to know that it was not user error but a manufacturer defect. While out running errands I cashed in some gift cards at Target and bought a long coveted Dyson vacuum.

Here's my dilemma... surf or vacuum. Surf or vacuum?
By the looks of my living room carpet I think the decision is easy: vacuum.

Vista Can Suck It

2008-03-05T21:34:00.000-06:00

I am hate, Hate, HATIN' on Vista.
Microsofts OCD for 'security' has completely ruined my new computer experience.
I am so angry all the curse words I know, in more than a few languages, plus a few primal screams have not helped.

Note to Microsoft... I can understand what your trying to do. Next time release two versions:

1.0 For retards and drunken monkeys. You can employ a new packaging concept of a crayon font with the 'R' backwards.
2.0 For normal, non-paranoid users who don't need this over secure piece of shite...

Help me Technorati, you're our only hope.

Unorganized Bliss

2008-03-03T20:33:00.000-06:00

Tonight I am pecking out this entry basking in the blue glow of my new HP laptop. It is a bittersweet post and could have been composed a full 80 minutes sooner. The set up was seamless and truly as simple as the 1-2-3 illustrated inside the box however I had it in my head that I would need to install my Comcast disk onto the PC and I have torn my house apart looking for the CD.

I knew exactly where it was... in theory. I recall sliding it in the the envelop with the drivers for my modem and putting them in the file cabinet. Alas, there is only a modem disk in that envelop. I have torn through the house and have found every other set of drivers but not my trusty Comcast CD.

Through the cursing and rifling I could hear my new PC beckoning me so I came down to see if there was any way to access the Internet at all without the Comcast disk of Wonder and much to my delight here I am! My first action on my new PC was to tell you all the story of how truly disorganized I am at home. No shock to my family.

I still won't rest until I have found that d@mn disk. It's personal now.

Welcome Back!

2008-02-11T20:20:00.000-06:00

The Welcome Back, Kotter tune rambling through my head is appropriate for this post today. It looks as though the Writers Guild of America strike is coming to an end. HURRAH!!!

Our favorite late night shows could be current as early as Wednesday night. Other shows with a longer production lead time could be back on by early April. Granted, some epics (e.g. Heroes, 24) will likely wait until fall to get back in the saddle but as long a mama gets a little candy things will be just fine.

I would be remiss in my shout out to the 70’s with out paying homage the author of one of my favorite generic ‘oh sh*t’ lines, ‘We’re gonna need a bigger boat.’ Roy Scheider, famous for the line as Chief Martin Brody in Jaws, died yesterday—he was 75.

Would I be too much of a geek slash TV junkie if I admitted I never missed SeaQuest DSV?

Stale

2008-02-01T13:04:00.000-06:00

I can’t believe we turned the calendar to February today. January came and went without seeing a single blog post. I have composed a dozen or so in my head but alas they have yet to hit the screen.

January took a toll on me—as I notified many of you that it would. Between work, holiday carryover and clean-up and the mere act of keeping warm there were nights where it was all I could do to pour a glass of wine much less log-on.

Never fear gentle reader; I will do better in February. After all... I'll have a whole extra day.

Postmark: December 31

2007-12-31T13:30:00.000-06:00

Well, I’ve just wrapped another edition of the Holiday Examiner, sent it to press and dropped it at the post office Saturday evening. Some recipients may receive it as early as today but they will likely begin arriving in mailboxes on Wednesday.

As my head hit the pillow on Saturday night it swirled with a number of highlights from 2007 that did not ‘make the newsletter’ for lack of room. There in lies the good news for blog readers. Stay tuned for entries on carryover highlights from 2007.

Until then… Happy New Year!